We asked people who have requested their files, “What would you say to someone who was about to request THEIR file?”
This is what they said — shared with their permission.
Thank you.
Mary Carter
Have support. Have someone with you that you trust and feel comfortable to confide in and share your story with. Social workers can be subjective. It is their opinion and bias doesn’t mean it’s your story. Be compassionate to yourself and read in parts. Expect that unexpected. Do something nice for yourself after.
Michael Davis-Thomas’
Prepare yourself.
Emily Stochel
I would say it will likely be hard, and they may learn things that may be hurtful, but that ultimately, it may also validate some of the feelings they have and/or decisions they have made. I would encourage young people to have a support network and utilize it during this process. A lot may come up for the young person.
Shaden Jedlicka
Prepare for to much information or nothing at all. I spent 12 years in Arkansas’ foster care system. I entered care at 9 years old. I left care at age 21, I requested my file at age 18. There were only 4 documents in my file. Nothing that I didn’t already know and nothing that could help me piece together my memories.
Saira-Jayne Jones
To not set your heart on finding anything out and if you do it’s a bonus. to make sure you have support and access to some kind of therapy or a strong friendship network.
Deborah Denzel
I would say if you really want it don’t stop until you retrieve it. I didn’t want it bad enough so I gave up but I know if I didn’t give up, I would have it right now.
Rebeccah Carlson
For anyone wanting to request their file, I would encourage them to be resilient and self-advocating. The legal system isn’t necessarily setup to fully support us in obtaining information about our pasts. There are so many roadblocks and barriers to accessing data that should be rightfully ours. Be patient, step back when you need to, and find individuals to support during the entire search process.
Laura Bye
Maybe don’t, it’s very difficult because you want to know your childhood experiences but professionals (I am one myself) write in a way that is so robotic, inhuman and talk about you like you are an object. I think they forgot you can one day read these.
Anonymous
I think the process is different for everyone, but I would say don’t get your hopes up that you will get what you need or want. Go in with little expectations.
Adam Starks
Surround yourself with a team of adults that know you. That can be there for the hard stuff, the surprises and good things without passing judgement. Be prepared to have your memories challenged. As I was writing my autobiography, I couldn’t remember my 1st-3rd grade years due to overwhelming hunger and chronic illness. I didn’t know I missed over 140 days between Kindergarten and 3rd grade or some of the therapy sessions during my high school years.